aw vashti the darling-est

we share a violin player now
so i got to meet her once
in edinburgh. lovely
lovely lovely lovely
all the way
through ♥

solstice sunrise at stonehenge

we had to weave through thousands of people in the blackness but we found a place against a bluestone. i pressed my back up against it and it felt like water. it moved with me and it buzzed and hummed and sang. we sat still for six hours. i sat in the darkness as people around me beat drums and danced and cheered. every once and again a cheer would begin and grow and roll about the crowd and get louder until it died off in a wave. everyone was grinning. people held hands and kissed. i sat still. the rocks were moving.. they were living... they said "here and now" and "peace" and everything else seemed small and far away. it was like dying, like letting go but still being attached... i was clutching a small bag filled with knitting, little lights, water, bread and m&ms.. but i didnt need anything. i dropped my bag below me and opened my hands. i had whatever was coming from the stones and the people humming through me. my hands and legs were buzzing... despite every bit of strangeness that was there around me... (polite englishmen tripping on acid: "oh excuse me and please do pardon, i seem to have taken a bit of LCD and now my spacial perception is a tad askew.. i certainly would not have stepped on you otherwise, its because i have taken drugs you see." security men in bright yellow jackets standing like boulders and flashing yellow fire in a thousand camera flashes... teenage girls in miniskirts and rave bangles with smeary makeup and mumbled accents.) it was all there... and the stones sat ancient and held us all. we were picked up in a mouth like kittens, we mewed and screamed.. some of us fell down... but the stones, like grandfathers, rocked us and sang to us like we were rolling in a giant gaping baby cradle. and they just watched on... rooted... observing it all unmoving with equal love and detachment. i didnt move. i didnt need to move. i didnt touch any of the other stones. i didnt walk around in a circle. i sat against my stone plugged in like a little blackberry. it was mine. and how many others have felt the same! now that i am home, it is still mine. my battery is all full and my legs are still humming. ruby is sitting on me and wont leave. we keep joking that she is in the henge-glow. i didnt know that would happen! i didnt believe anything would happen. i was only going to sit on a blanket and watch the sunrise. what a gift. and now i know, stonehenge is a baby cradle.

heh heh look at ruby's henge eyes. shes got the proper glow
she keeps pressing her head to my legs. ♥ kitty ♥

then you can look at the stars & birds

we went to the mojo awards the other night. i got to see people from all kinds of exciting bands... i couldnt find one single piece of crap to wear so i settled on this. i wasnt up for any awards or anything so it didnt really matter what i wore anyway ♥

we got the demo for the new azure ray record and i have been listening nonstop. i want everyone in the world to buy it when it comes out. i am so glad they are back together. it is one of my happy thoughts. do people still buy records? i miss them. ruby misses them too.

the other day my horoscope (sometimes i say horrorscope and i think im funny but im sure other people say that too.. or they say relationshit instead of relationship. im not sure) anyway.. it said .. just roll with it sweetheart. (well i added the sweetheart part.. but i think i it sounds nice) .. it got me thinking..... you cant control this ship. its on an ocean far too large and with a mind of its own... settle down in that little boat and drop the oars sometimes... then you can look at the stars & birds ♥

there are so many of us

i watched a show on bbc last night about a nomadic turkish family
raising goats on a mountain plateau. the women bake bread all day.

they have dreams. they have broken hearts. and they sometimes laugh.

there are so many of us here on earth... too many of us for anyone to know us all... and there is a little eye on each of us... there is a little eye on every thing... we all have cares and worries... and every worry matters the same... i am trying to remember that worries are just thoughts... they can be changed into bunnies.

there will always be a little bit of mud on your new shoes. freckles appear out of thin air. how will i observe them? i will change them into bunnies. mud can become bunnies with the blink of an eye.

there are so many of us... too many of us to count... we are stuffed into white buildings one on top of the other. we sit by the water or fire... and we wander in the woods... and we are woven into the fabric of everything living and everything that has ever lived... we are one big quilt... we are grounded... i am a square sewn to many other squares. today i will decorate my own quilt square with candles and incense. strawberries, lavender and wool. its the only thing i can do ♥
stay tiny & turn mud into bunnies.

filling our baskets

here is a new picture we found at the fair. i dont know what its called.

i love the way the light is dusting the women... the way they are up and working before the sunrise... the way they are so draped in shawls, skirts and baskets they look like they are part of the earth.

the sun IS coming up again today. its cool and today we will talk about everything that still excites us... we do matter. our lives matter. our gathering matters. our tiny treasures matter. our smiles and our thoughts matter. the way our shoes shuffle in the mud and our workers hands hold tight to our findings. the way we still have things to say. we tick and tock and still wake up new.